We looked at my example shape poem like this in our workshop, so Kind Kiera has used this model, but added an extra personal feel to her poem. I love the detail of the personal importance of the drink that Mum makes, and the pictures that she has to leave behind; the struggle of choosing just one teddy; wanting to stay, but knowing deep down that it is better to go. All this depth of thought and emotion, and yet Kiera has also managed to make her poem rhyme, ANd have rhythm. Fantastic! WELL DONE KIERA

Evacuees

World War 2

World War 2

World War Two is a really scary time
No chance to complain, or grumble, or whine

Mum works on a farm, 7 days a week, from morning to night
Dad left last month to go to war and is joining the fight

I'm so hungry that my little tummy starts to rumble, rumble, rumble
But I'm lucky, I have a warm bed: I really mustn't grumble.

The sounds of the sirens screeching around
They are so loud you can hear them underground

I pray Dad comes home all safe and well
I'll bet he'll have some stories to tell.

So for now I'll keep writing to my Mum
and can't wait for the day when she will come.

Danny has made a particular effort here to use alliteration techniques which we practiced together: he has some assonance in 'tummy' and 'rumble' as well as it being a part of the rhyme, and some alliteration in the 'sounds of sirens screeching'. I particularly like the way Danny has looked at the whole picture of how life affected everyone, even down to the attitude of the day "mustn't grumble". The rhymes are excellent and appropriate too. I'm so glad that you enjoyed this topic enough to do more poetry at home WELL DONE DANNY.

The next challenge for you Danny is to attempt to make the rhythm consistent throughout the poem. You have achieved alliteration, rhyme and a good emotional and involved content to the poem, which is a brilliant beginning. Now we can take it to the next level, so don't stop there; keep writing.
I'll be adding some teaching pages on rhyme and rhythm in the next few weeks, so you could learn how to edit your work when I've added them.

ps. Danny, I have ended the poem here because it gives it a good strong emotional ending which is perfect for the style of the poem so I didn't feel that you needed the extra few lines. I hope you agree.

My World War 2 Poems

Here are the links to my own World War Two Poems, which I used during the workshop to inspire the children. These are all rhyming poems, but I always stress that this is purely my choice: a poem does not need to rhyme. Rhyming is a skill to be developed as with all other techniques, so it can be hard to achieve alongside so many other developing skills.

Alphabet poem combined with list poem form.

Shape poem

Acrostic

  Postcard poem